The Sun Will Heat the Ground, Under Our Bare Feet
by losttothewind
Summary: "Do you want to leave?" he blurts out suddenly, ignoring her previous question. His lips twitch up self-deprecatingly, but somehow that perfect little half-smile he has down to a science is not the same when it's haunted by his defeated eyes.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic. ****The title and inspiration came from Brand New Colony by The Postal Service. I saw a Finchel graphic with the lyrics once and it planted the seed in my tiny little brain.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Glee, however, owns me.**

* * *

><p><em>I want to take you far<em>

_From the cynics in this town_

_And kiss you on the mouth_

_We'll cut our bodies free_

_From the tethers of this scene_

_Start a brand new colony_

_Where everything will change_

_We'll give ourselves new names_

* * *

><p>Rachel walks briskly to her locker early Thursday morning, her smile strangely large given the time and place. She has just been cast in the community theatre production of <em>Fiddler on the Roof<em>, and she's about ready to bust. This is her first step to super-stardom, and once her name is in lights, everyone in this cesspool will rue the days when they drew pornographic pictures of her on the bathroom stalls and egged her brand new Prius. She'll outshine them all.

Well, maybe not _all_ of them, maybe _one_ of them will come with her an—

WHAM! Her thoughts are cut off when bright green slush comes out of nowhere to collide with her face. _Ouch_.

"Have a nice day, Yentl," a blur in a red letterman jacket shouts, much to the delight of his lackies. How very original.

She's afraid to open her eyes and experience the sting of corn syrup on her corneas. Her chest contracts from the cold and she thinks absurdly of that line in Titanic, where Jack is trying to convince Rose not to jump into the Atlantic. "…It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. You can't breathe. You can't think."

Oh, Titanic was such a wonderfully romantic film. Finn would make such a good Jack to her Rose if Broadway were to ever do a re-

But she cuts herself off from that line of thought this time, knowing it could lead nowhere good.

Licking her lips, she reaches into her locker for the back-up outfit she keeps handy for these instances. Green apple. _Gross_. They could have at least used a good flavor. Like grape. She escapes to the girls' bathroom, completely missing the scuffle that has started behind her, a few feet away from her locker.

* * *

><p>She gets cleaned up in record time, proud of herself for dealing with all this adversity first thing in the morning and still making it to homeroom on time. She won't give those Neanderthals the satisfaction of mussing up her day. Like a true star; the show must go on.<p>

Her gaze locks on a pair of deep brown eyes belonging to a certain fidgeting, 6'3 quarterback when she steps out into the hallway.

"Are you okay?" he asks. He looks kind of nervous.

She's just stares at him, getting over the shock of his sudden appearance, trying to form a coherent sentence, when she notices a purple bruise beginning to form around his eye.

"Yeah... yes, I'm fine. Are you?" Her voice sounds strained and she hates it; hates that things are still so awkward between them.

Ever since she told him about Quinn's baby.

She can't blame him for keeping to himself. Who wouldn't after being betrayed like he had been? She just wishes he would lean on her. It's maddening to wonder what he's thinking all the time. Usually it's so easy for her to tell. And it's not like he can count on his football "friends" to listen as he pours his heart out to them. He has no one. No matter how popular he may be.

She wants to be his someone.

Underneath the black-eye that's forming, his eyes are a little sadder, a little more distant. A little less home. She hates that too.

"Do you want to leave?" he blurts out suddenly, ignoring her previous question. His lips twitching up self-deprecatingly, but somehow that perfect little half-smile he has down to a science is not the same when it's haunted by his defeated eyes.

"L-Leave school?" she asks, sounding a lot less calm than she intended. She reminds herself to breathe.

"Yeah."

Usually she would criticize him for being so careless about his schoolwork, but she thinks he sort of deserves a free pass this time around. She's going to tell him to go ahead without her, but she stops herself. It is the Thursday before winter break and she doesn't have any tests or big assignments to hand in.

Glee doesn't meet today. Neither does the Black Student Union. Or the Renaissance Club. She begins to consider it. He's squirming around and he looks so anxious for her response that her heart melts a little.

"I'm going to go get my coat and I'll meet you at your truck," she says, her decision made.

Finn's smile touches his eyes this time, lighting up his whole face, "Kay, it's the big blue one."

"I know," she giggles.

* * *

><p>She is going to skip school. <em>Rachel Berry is going to skip school<em>. Giddiness spreads through her as she heads out the back door into the slush-covered parking lot, making sure the coast is clear. Who would have thought she would enjoy being a rule-breaker so much?

Though, if she's honest with herself, she knows her excitement is due much more to her spending the day with her gentle giant than to her deceiving her school teachers.

The sun is deceptively bright as it keeps the secret of the winter chill, but her blood races when she sees Finn waiting for her in his dilapidated, albeit charming, pick-up truck. _This is really happening. _

When he sees her approaching, he leans over to the passenger side to open the door for her.

Once she's settled in, he asks, "Uh… so, what now?"

"This was _your_ idea!"

"Yeah, so I already came up with one awesome idea for the day- to skip school. Now it's your turn!" and somewhere in his brain, that must seem like logic so she decides to indulge him. Besides, Rachel Berry has never had a problem being decisive.

"Let's go to the reservoir," she says, knowing full well the romantic implications of that spot. Finn says nothing as he puts his truck in gear, hoping the pink in his cheeks goes unnoticed.

* * *

><p>On the way, Finn stops to buy them some snacks for the day. He ends up buying s'more ingredients, White Cheddar Cheez-Itz, and a big bag of trail mix. They have no means of actually roasting the marshmallows for the s'mores, as they were still sitting in the cab of his truck, but the marshmallows were on sale at the gas station so they got them anyway. Finn tops her cold s'more with a graham and hands it to her.<p>

"Here you go."

"Thanks," she smiles.

After that, the only sound filling the small space is their chewing. Rachel can feel the weight of unspoken words pressing down on them. It's the first time they've been alone since babygate, and a lot of things were left unsettled. But for once, she doesn't feel the clawing need to fill the silence. She's letting herself enjoy the weight.

Frankly, when Finn opens his mouth, it's a 50/50 shot that he'll smash her heart into a million pieces like Nicky Arnstein did to Fanny Brice at the end of _Funny Girl_. So quiet is okay with her. For now.

Finn, apparently, is not on the same page. "So, I have a couple of CDs in the dashboard. If you want to play those, or if you have your iPod, I have a receptor that tunes into the radio. You can't plug it right in because my truck is too old but the receptor usually works really good."

"It works really well. Well, not good, because it's an adverb," she murmurs as she begins to dig in her backpack for her bedazzled iPod.

"Yeah, okay. And maybe we could think of some songs to sing at regionals. I was thinking maybe more Journey, like we could sing Fai-"

"Finn, why did you ask me to come with you?" she asks, because this all sort of feels like a dream after the last couple of weeks, and if they're going to fill the silence, they may as well fill it with the answer to one of her millions of questions for him.

"I just wanted to take you away from all that," he says simply, gesturing toward the plastic bag that holds her slushie-stained outfit.

She stares at him. Sometimes, ironically, Finn's inherent simplicity makes him really difficult to figure out. But then there are times when he's right there and saying perfect things and he makes it impossible for her to give up on him.

He's just in her blood.

She reaches her hand up and, taking care to be very gentle, she brushes the purple shadow under his eye, noticing how his eyes darken a shade when she touches him. "Did you fight the guy who slushied me?" she asks, her fingers lingering a little too long. Why can she never control herself around him? A blush creeps up her cheeks as she retracts her hand and joins it with the other in her lap.

"Mmhmm," he says, and when she crinkles her brow he clears his throat and adds, "Azimio is a jerk. And a shit left tackle."

She doesn't bother scolding him for his language. She just feels her face grow even redder because Finn fought somebody _for her_. For some reason that fact makes her stomach coil up and her body feel warm all over. Not to mention, Finn Hudson sporting a black-eye? Outrageously sexy.

"Thank you," she says shyly, and he just shrugs. "But violence is really never the answer, Finn."

* * *

><p>"Do you wanna make snow angels?" Finn asks when they run out of graham crackers.<p>

"I'm wearing a dress, Finn!"

"I have sweatpants in the back. If you roll them six or seven times, they should fit just right!" he exclaims, reaching behind him to feel around for his, no doubt, gargantuan pair of pants.

"It's so cold!"

"I have blankets for when we're done," he says, and sensing her hesitation, "C'mon, Rach, it'll be fun! We're skipping school and being spontaneo today, remember?"

She couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face if she tried. This boy. "I suppose we are being spontane_ous_."

She takes the grey sweats from him and pulls them on over her tights and under her dress, reminding Finn to look away. She misses his impish grin as he complies. On her seventh roll, she can see her feet again and announces that she's ready to brave the harsh winter.

He rolls his eyes as he gets out of the truck.

"I bet I can make a bigger snow angel than you," he teases, and now she rolls her eyes.

"I will not take that bet. You are about a foot taller than me and twice as broad."

He gets his little smile. "Yeah but your angel will be so cute and tiny like you," he says, suddenly finding the ground more interesting and picking up speed. She notices how the cold makes his cheeks flush.

Once they get to a clear patch of ground, he collapses on his back. She follows suit, sitting primly before sweeping her arms and legs up and down, in and out. When they stand to admire their work, she can't help but giggle, "Yours looks like a creepy old angel about to take my little angel into the woods."

Finn looks mock-horrified, "My angel would do no such thing." He joins in her laughter though, and the sound is so welcome after their weeks apart. Like coming home.

Her most pressing question bubbles to her lips, but she files it away for later. She just wants to watch him laugh right now.

* * *

><p>Rachel finally drags Finn back to the truck and turns the heat up to the highest level. Her teeth are chattering so hard she can't even yell at him for his horrible idea to go tubing on a busted tire he found on the shore of the frozen reservoir.<p>

She rips off the sopping sweatpants and her frozen tights. Her wool coat is completely soaked through, so she removes that as well, but her dress remains mostly dry. She reaches out to Finn so he can hand her one of those blankets he's promised her.

"Um, R-Rach, I only h-have one blanket," he says, his speech hindered by his quivering body. It's only then that she realizes he's removed his jeans and on his lower half he's left in only his boxers, which are also somewhat damp.

"T-take off your-r jacket s-so it doesn't get me w-wet," she manages to say, and he does so.

"W-watch your head," he says as he fans the blanket around her and pulls her into him with it.

Finn's shaking is slowing and his body is relaxing and she can feel his _everything. _She looks at the smooth line of his clavicle, drawing her horizon, and she forces herself not to turn her head, just a centimeter, and kiss it. And it's all just terribly indecent but she cannot for the life of her bring herself to care. Because that half-naked, trembling boy is _Finn_. So she rests her head on his shoulder, and his skin is cold to the touch at first, but it warms up pretty quickly.

* * *

><p>She must have fallen asleep because she wakes up when Finn drives over a speed bump, her cheek bumping back into the shoulder she had been resting on.<p>

"Sorry, Rach, I didn't notice the speed bump with all the snow," he says quietly, their faces mere inches apart. He has a full-fledged shiner now, and she thinks he should really put ice on it. "I'm not really a great driver."

"I think you're just fine," she nudges him, and then straightens herself out reluctantly, sliding into her seat and buckling up, keeping the blanket wrapped loosely around her.

"Sorry I…" she trails off, pointing to his shoulder. He just shakes his head, as if to say, _it's not a problem_.

She feels kind of awkward; that early morning fog hovering over her brain and leaving her confused and a little self-conscious that she fell asleep _on_ him. Not to mention, he's still in his boxers, which she has to work really hard not to look at. It all makes her feel extremely vulnerable. Bare.

She always feels like this when she's with him, like he can _see her_. Without her defenses she's completely exposed. It's both wonderful and uncomfortable.

"Are you driving me home?" she asks, hating that she sounds as disappointed as she feels.

"No. Unless you want me to. I thought we could just go for a drive."

"A drive sounds great."

She says it for two reasons. One: she gets to spend time with Finn. Two: she knows he needs this. Maybe even more than she does.

She just wishes he would _tell her_ how much he needs this.

* * *

><p>He suggests that they get hot chocolate about an hour later when they're somewhere around Van Wert. So they go through the drive-through and sit in the abandoned parking lot while they sip quietly.<p>

Out of the corner of her eye, she see Finn staring off into space, that haunted look returning to his eyes and making her heart twinge and her palms clammy.

She can't hold it in any longer. "Finn, I need you to talk to me about Quinn."

She feels unbearably insensitive, but honestly, she's been tiptoeing around the subject for _weeks_ and it hasn't gotten them anywhere. She needs to force a confrontation. She _needs_ to know how he's doing. Well, what variety of bad he's doing.

And she thinks he needs to tell her, too. At least she hopes so.

He just stares at her with his mouth agape. Nobody has made him talk about this directly. He should've known Rachel would be the exception to the rule. She's the exception to every rule.

But how can he even explain how he feels? How he fucking hates everything. How can he describe the rage that causes his arms to flail long after he's collapsed on his punching bag?

But then it all bubbles over.

"I just… I _hate_ her. And him. And I hate that I was stupid enough to believe all their _fuckery_. I'm such a fucking _idiot_. I hate how she treated me and how I let her treat me. And I hate that I hurt other people to help her when she was ready to turn my life upside down for _NO FUCKING REASON_."

She can feel him trembling from his confession. From his pent-up rage. He's panting a little. His eyes are wide, boring into hers, and she knows that this is his catharsis and his apology. For the auditorium, and the bowling alley, and the Grease cat suit revelations.

She just squeezes his hand tighter, sensing that he's not done, letting him know she's still there. For him. That she understands and that she accepts his apology. Really, he's already forgiven. Because he's Finn Hudson and she's Rachel Berry. And that's really it.

She watches him deflate, his shoulders slumping in, and it breaks her heart.

"She knows I'm stupid. She _expected_ me to be stupid. Her and him. That's why they thought they could get away with their lie." He looks so defeated.

"You never make me feel stupid. Ever." He adds quietly. And her eyes fill up with tears.

"That's because you're not, Finn. You have _so much_ to offer. So, so much. And you deserve to be with someone who knows what they have when they have you. Quinn wanted to make you unhappy because _she_ is so unhappy. Because she made a mistake when she was drunk and feeling insecure and that one night turned her into everything she hates. And she took that out on you."

She pauses, and she crouches down to meet his eyes and make sure he understands this. "But that's _not your fault_, Finn. You need to stop hating yourself. You are so much better than you think you are."

He reaches out his hand, an offering, and she links her pinky with his before he turns her hand over and laces his fingers with hers.

"You always help me," he murmurs, "I don't deserve it and you don't have to but you always do."

"I _do_ have to. It's necessary like breathing."

* * *

><p>They've settled into silence again in the general direction of Lima. For want of anything to say, she brings up regionals.<p>

"You were right! It is time for us to start choosing songs. I don't know about Journey, though. I've been thinking about doing Barbra's closing number from _Funny Girl_, since, as you know, my performance of _Don't Rain on My Parade_ brought the house down and secured us our victory at sectionals. I also have a deep, personal connection to _My Man_ that will create an emotional resonance palpable to both the audience and the judges," she says, forgetting to take a breath.

He looks overwhelmed by her words. And he still looks a little raw, she notes as her eyes rake over his face. She imagines he's feeling the discomfort of being _seen_ just like she is.

"What is _My Man_ about?" he asks.

"Hmm?" she asks, still preoccupied by the constellations in his freckles.

"You said that _My Man_, uh, resonates with you. What's it about?"

"My Man is about a talented theatrical performer whose love leaves her because of his own personal problems. It is her dwelling on the loss of what was and could've been. It's the hardest song I'll ever sing."

Then she realizes what she said.

"Of course I relate to the character because she's so driven to succeed in New York," she adds desperately. Finn nods once and sips his hot chocolate until it's gone, his face turned away so she can't see his eyes. He turns onto the highway that will lead them right to her house.

For the love of Moses, why can't she ever bite her tongue? Her heart sinks as she realizes she just ruined everything. All the progress they had made today. By wanting it too much.

She tucks her knees up to her chin.

"Do you want to play a game?" he asks, once again throwing her for a loop and doing what she least expects. She feels tilted off her axis with him. She can never quite find her balance.

"Sure."

* * *

><p>"Finn!" Rachel laughs.<p>

"What?"

"You can't split an odd number."

"If I don't split them you'll win."

"Yes, Finn, I will."

"Can we play another game? I don't like Finger Chess."

"Of course, once I beat you."

Finn groans as she taps his left hand and declares herself the champion.

"Okay, spoilsport, what do you want to play now?"

He chuckles at the irony of her calling him a spoilsport before he suggests, "20 Questions?"

"Okay. You ask first," she says, and the smile on her face hurts her cheeks. She brainstorms what item she should choose for him to ask questions about.

She settles on drumsticks, thinking them completely appropriate for the beautiful drummer boy sitting beside her.

"Do I still have a chance with you?" he says all of the sudden.

She freezes. "That's not how 20 Questions works, Finn," she murmurs, blushing from the inside out.

"We'll make up our own rules," he says, reaching out to brush his fingers over hers. "Do I still have a chance?" he repeats.

"You always have a chance."

* * *

><p>They pull up to her house a half hour later, and instinctively she knows that she'll be able to get away with skipping today. Her house is empty and the McKinley attendance office is notoriously inefficient.<p>

She doesn't know how to end the day she's had with him. She feels like she ran a marathon and watched ten sad movies. His voice cuts off her reverie.

"I don't want to go back tomorrow," he pouts, and _good Finn, draw more attention to your perfect lips, why don't you?_

"I know," she says, shaking those thoughts away.

"I just wish I could take a break from all this crap."

"Well, maybe you should. Winter break starts tomorrow. Why don't you get out of Lima for the week?"

"And go where? I have like no money. And besides, my mom doesn't trust me to cross the street without holding my hand after everything with Quinn."

"You could go on a road trip. It's like the quintessential American thing to do. I think your mom would understand."

He pauses before he mutters sheepishly, "What does quintessential mean?"

"It means it's the essence of what it means to be American. To explore our vast amounts of land. It's a rite of passage."

"I like road trips," he says, and he smiles like a little boy with a new toy, mulling the idea over. Her face twists up into a twin expression of its own accord.

"Would you come with me?" He says all of a sudden.

This time she doesn't even really think about it.

"Yes."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Here's the second chapter. I really hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Glee, however, owns me.**

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><p>When Rachel wakes up on Friday, her cheeks actually ache.<p>

She'd been smiling in her sleep.

Going to bed knowing that she would be in such close quarters with Finn for an entire week had her mind going a mile a minute. The memory of her dream slips into the space between her dream world and the waking world, and she's left with a disappointment that his calloused hands running over her olive skin were just a figment of her overactive imagination.

She thinks through her agenda for the day as she begins her morning routine, drinking her protein shake with banana and flaxseed oil and running on the elliptical.

They have it all planned out. She and Finn were on the phone until 2 AM working out the kinks. They will brave their last day at McKinley and put on their performances for Glee before they hit the wide open road. Finn filled his tank last night so they could leave straight away. They've gathered up all their cash to use for lodging, gas, food, and whatever else they may need. Mrs. Hudson had taken nearly every snack in the Hudson house and packed it up in his old Batman cooler.

Upon Finn's insistence, they've left their schedule very much up in the air. No details as to what they will do on the actual trip have been planned.

"It's more of an adventure that way," he'd said.

She'd agreed reluctantly, throwing away her detailed map that highlighted where they could stop for meals, leg-stretching, rest, and the restroom, reminding herself that this trip is _for him_.

"You'll be like Huck in the coming-of-age musical _Big River_," she'd mused, "finding yourself by going on an epic journey." She could hear him chuckle at the other end of the line.

"As long as you'll be Huck too," he'd said shyly.

If they're on the road for six days, they'll be back in time to spend Christmas Eve and the rest of the holidays with their respective families. She can't really explain it, but she feels like something big is about to happen.

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><p>When Rachel's dads drop her off at school, Finn is already there, shivering beside his truck. She gets her bags for the trip out of her trunk and walks over to him as he opens the back seat so she can leave her stuff in his truck. They planned this out so she wouldn't have to worry about where to keep her luggage during the day.<p>

"Hey," he smiles at her, taking her duffle and plopping it on the seat. His black-eye is even more prominent today than it was yesterday.

"Hi, Finn, I'll be right back," she says quickly, turning back to her dads to collect her rolling backpack and kiss them goodbye.

"Promise to be safe, little star," Daddy almost whimpers. Rachel nods. There's no question where she got her dramatic tendencies from.

"I promise! I'll be fine. I'll be back before you have time to miss me," she smiles, although she feels her eyes filling up now too. They _will_ miss her. This will be the longest they have ever been apart. She's never had so much as a sleepover, let alone a vacation away from them.

If she's honest with herself, she's going to miss them just as much. She packed extra bottles of water in preparation of being without them.

Papa squeezes her shoulder. "Remember, we want you to call us at least twice a day so we know you're safe. And a picture message of you so we know for sure. And-"

"I remember all the rules, Papa. You don't have to worry," Rachel assures him.

"We know, and we trust you. That is why we're allowing this. Come here, little star."

She walks forward and stands on her tiptoes to hug both her dads again, saying a final goodbye before they get back into their car, Daddy wiping his face discreetly.

Rachel tries to blink away her tears that haven't yet fallen, scolding herself. She'd promised herself that she would be an adult about this.

Her independence usually covers up the fact that she is a complete daddy's girl. Now that she's going out on adventures of her own, she can't just _act_ like a grown-up. She has to actually be one. It's both terrifying and exciting.

At least she doesn't have to do it alone. Realizing that he's been standing a polite distance away the whole time, she waves Finn over.

"You excited?" he asks when he reaches her, cocking an eyebrow. She nods frantically, letting the building feelings of anticipation heat up her blood.

"What'd you tell your dads to get them to let you come, anyway?"

"I said I had a friend and I needed to be there for him right now."

"And that worked?" He looks surprised. And a little embarrassed.

"Yes. Honestly, they're just thrilled that I have a friend," she says offhandedly.

His face turns red and she remembers that saying that kind of thing makes people uncomfortable. "And they're okay that the friend is me? I mean, like, do they know abou-"

"No," Rachel shakes her head quickly, "I mean, yes they're okay with it, and no they don't know."

He nudges her side. "That's probably a good thing," he says. "For now."

"Yes, probably," she agrees, hiding her blush behind a curtain of hair. His lips twitch up and he takes her rolling backpack from her to glide beside him.

"Always so chivalrous," she smiles.

* * *

><p>When they walk into the school, the main hallway is a sauna. The radiator must be on the fritz again. Rachel unzips her jacket. Lima can't even afford a new heating and cooling system for their children? She rolls her eyes.<p>

Finn moves to take off his letterman jacket, but he pauses, lowers his hands, and nervously glances around the hallway, looking like a caged animal. She knows he can't and won't take that jacket off. After the humiliation of everything that's happened, he needs everyone to see that he's still Finn Hudson and he's still on top. So he just continues walking, his armor prominently displayed.

The sight makes her stomach drop. Finn's reputation will always be important to him. Maybe even the _most_ important thing to him. She looks down at her pink owl sweater and cringes. She will never be good for his reputation.

She waves goodbye distractedly as Finn leaves for his early morning football practice and she heads to the choir room to rehearse a bit before first period.

When she removes her coat to set on the piano bench, she sees something sticking out of her pocket. It looks like a sheet of paper. She gets excited as her hand folds over it; she doesn't remember putting anything in there. She practically squeals when she unfolds the lined yellow postcard to find a note from Finn. She takes a deep breath to compose herself and begins to read.

_This week is gonna be the coolest ever. See you after school. Well, at school too. Cuz we go to the same school. But, to me, the week really starts once we leave school for our trip. So I'll see you then, Rach. I can't wait._

_Finn_

Rachel didn't know when he gave that to her. He must have slipped it into her pocket this morning without her noticing.

Who knew Finn Hudson was such a smooth operator?

Just like that her mood is soaring. How does he do that? Make her feel sad and perfect and _everything_ all the time.

She tries to focus on the notes but she's so well-rehearsed she's just going on autopilot, her mind turning to speculation of what lies ahead, and the melody coming from the piano becomes softer, sweeter, her fingers moving without any conscious thought.

* * *

><p>The school day passes without incident. The overwhelming heat is making the teachers even more lethargic than the last day of class usually renders them. Most just play a movie that is vaguely related to the subject they've been teaching.<p>

Despite the lack of work, time passes excruciatingly slowly. Rachel wants to gauge her eyes out when she reaches sixth period Advanced Geometry and has to watch another documentary on Descartes. She almost wishes she had work to do instead. It would give her something to focus on that isn't how badly she wants this day to be over. Surely this is the kind of anticipation Maria was feeling when she was waiting for Tony in the dress shop. How can this sort of patience be expected of a person?

When her last class finally, _finally_ ends, she packs up her school stuff and heads to her locker, choosing to ignore the Cheerio who purposely elbows her in the stomach as she passes. She grabs her coat, fills her backpack with all the books she'll need for vacation so she can leave with Finn straight after the club adjourns, and heads to Glee. She's the first one there, as per usual.

Quinn's baby bump is the next one in, followed by Quinn, who takes the seat farthest away from Rachel in the room, making sure to turn her perfectly angular nose up as she does. Rachel winces. Even knocked way off her pedestal, Quinn still has the power to make her feel like nothing.

The rest of the club files in shortly after.

Finn's the last one there, as per usual. She notices that he has all his stuff packed up and ready to go, too. Unfortunately, Noah had chosen to sit right behind Rachel, and Finn basically snarls at him before he takes a seat right in the middle, as far as possible from both Puck and Quinn. Far away from her.

She wants to do something to remedy the situation, but Mr. Schue walks in right then to start the performances.

"Okay, you've all been working hard this week to prepare your midterm performances. Does one of my co-captains want to kick us off?" Rachel reaches into her folder for her sheet music and stands up, only to find Finn adjusting the microphone as the band cues up. She sits down, surprised.

He doesn't say anything to introduce the song. He just signals the instruments and looks straight at Quinn. He looks so hateful Rachel wants to crawl under a rock, and the look isn't even directed at her. The shiner around his eye is making his facial expression even more menacing. When he starts singing, strong and raspy, the lyrics cut right through the room.

…_I can't bite my tongue forever  
>While you try to play it cool<br>You can hide behind your stories  
>But don't take me for a fool<em>

_You can tell me that there's nobody else  
>But I feel it<em>

_You can tell me that you're home by yourself__  
><em>_But I see it  
>You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want<br>But I know  
>Your love was just a lie<br>Nothing but a lie_

Quinn looks up at the ceiling, like she's waiting for God to beam her up and get her the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks out of there.

_You look so innocent  
>But the guilt in your voice gives you away<br>Yeah, you know what I mean  
>How does it feel when you kiss when you know that I trust you?<br>And do you think about me when he's with you?  
>Could you be more obscene?<em>

Finn looks like he's on the verge of hysterics, whether that be laughing or crying.

Quinn, if possible, sinks even further into her seat. Behind Rachel, Puck is curling his hands into fists. She can feel waves of anger rolling off of him. Mr. Schuester looks really uncomfortable, like he's debating whether he should stop Finn in the middle of his performance or not. More than anything, though, the look in his eyes is one of empathy.

_So don't try to say you're sorry  
>Or try to make it right<br>Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late._

…_It's nothing but a lie_

_You're nothing but a lie._

He finishes, panting, and ice spreads through her veins. She thought he'd made so much progress yesterday.

The selfish part of her wants to curl up in a ball and cry, move into the dank basement and haunt the Glee club like the Phantom. His feelings for Quinn obviously haven't gone away if he was this bitter about it. She tucks her knees up under her chin, not able to look at him. _He just lost a baby he thought was his_, her rational mind chips in. _You _are_ his friend. You need to be patient with him. Give him time to heal himself. _The thought rankles. Rachel Berry doesn't like to wait for anything.

But she will. She'll do it. Because she has a friend now. And you have to put your friend's needs before your own sometimes.

And because she loves him. It's as simple as that, really. It's the most terrifying thing she's ever felt. But it's _real_. And most of the time it's _good_. Better than nailing the high F. Her heart breaks as his does. She wasn't lying yesterday when she said that she _needed_ to help him.

Mr. Schue mutters something about propriety and asks who wants to go next as Finn takes his seat. The rest of the club seems trigger happy to get their performances over with, so Rachel sits back for once and tries to think through everything.

Finally, she's the last one left. She arranges her music on the piano, before she looks directly at Finn, and begins to play.

_Dear Friend, what's on your mind?  
>You don't laugh the way you used to<br>But I've noticed how you cry_

_Dear friend, I feel so helpless  
>I see you sit in silence<br>As you face the pain each day  
>I feel there's nothing I can do<br>I know you don't feel pretty  
>Even though you are<br>But it wasn't your beauty  
>That found you in my heart<em>

_Dear friend, you are so precious Dear Friend_

_Dear friend, I'm here for you  
>I know that you don't talk too much<br>But we can share this day anew_

_Dear Friend, please don't feel like you're alone  
>There is someone who is praying<br>Praying for your peace of mind  
>Hoping joy is what you'll find<br>I know you don't feel weak  
>Even though you are<br>But it wasn't your strength  
>That found room in my heart<em>

_Dear friend, you are so precious, Dear Friend._

Her last note hangs in the air as the bell rings. Everybody halfheartedly claps as they gather all of their stuff to leave.

"Very moving, Rachel. Excellent work." Mr. Schuester claps her on the back and disappears into his office.

She works up the courage to look Finn in the eye, slowly raising her eyes from the floor, to his knee caps, to his shoulder, and finally his eyes. He looks like he's been hit by a train. She's about to apologize, because _Oh god, she's made it worse_, but he stands up then, walking toward her slowly before slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him as close as humanly possible. He rests his head on the crook of her neck as she squeezes him around the shoulders and squeezes her eyes shut.

* * *

><p>Both of them are sort of drained as they head to the truck to start their trip. The emotional roller coaster they've been on for the past couple of days is starting to catch up with them.<p>

"My mom's at work. Do you want to take a nap at my place before we hit the road?" he asks.

"No, that's fine, I can make it. I already took a nap yesterday." He probably would have believed her more if she hadn't yawned halfway through her sentence. He laughs quietly.

"C'mon, sleepyhead," he says as he opens up her door, "A nap is not admitting defeat."

She rolls her eyes, too tired to think of a decent comeback.

"You can choose any station you want," he says when the turns on the radio and it blasts out Pantera. She flips through the channels until she settles on The Who's _Love, Reign O'er Me_, one of the only songs she likes by them.

"I love this song!" Finn exclaims. She laughs as he theatrically air drums along to the chorus, even as he attempts to pull out of the parking lot. "You have good taste in music," he says, almost like it's a question, insultingly surprised. She'll teach him the value of a Broadway classic if it's the last thing she does. "Quinn always made me listen to the Chapman Kurt Stevens guy."

"You mean Steven Curtiss Chapman? The Christian Rock singer?"

"Yeah, that's the one. And she also played this Slaughter guy. But we won't talk about that. I know you like animals." His lips curl up into a tiny smile.

She can't help but giggle. "Alvin Slaughter actually has an incredibly powerful voice," she says, because strong vocalists should stick together. "But I do love animals. I've actually been thinking about becoming a vegetarian. If I do alright with it, I might even try veganism. Though, that might take a while."

"But your favorite food is pepperoni pizza," he states.

"I know, but I feel guilty every time I eat meat now. I really want to try to be a vegetarian."

"Cool," he says, smiling at her. "Now I get the beef jerky I packed all to myself."

Her laughter is cut off by a yawn, and she leans her head against the seat, deciding to rest her eyes for a moment.

* * *

><p>When Rachel wakes up, the house is empty. She stands up abruptly from the loaveseat. When she had fallen asleep, Finn had been on he couch perpendicular to hers. "Finn?" she says, not wanting to speak too loudly in case something is amiss. She begins to walk toward his bedroom in case he'd relocated from the couch so he could sleep more comfortably.<p>

"Finn?" Just then she hears the front door slam and hurried footsteps. She turns back around.

"Finn?" she calls.

"Oh, you're awake," he calls back. "Don't come in the kitchen." She looks at the clock in his front hall. It's almost 6:30 PM. She must have been really tired. She doesn't even remember how she got on his loveseat, curled up with a blanket.

"Why?"

"Just, please, give me a minute."

"But, I'm hungry," she whines. She is. But mostly she's just curious. She walks up to the door of the kitchen.

"You don't get any pity from me. You're in trouble."

Rachel reels. "What on earth did I do?"

"Never mind, you can come in now."

She pushes through the door to find that the room is completely dark, save for the moon shining in through the window and flickering candles lining a small cake.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday, Rach?" Finn frowns.

"I- How did you find out?"

"It was on the birthday board next to the main office."

"Oh. I guess I've just been preoccupied." She walks toward him as he sets the cake on the counter.

"Because of me?"

"You got me a cake?" she asks, ignoring his question, staring at the white-frosted confection. She's trying not to get emotional, but this is the only gift she's ever gotten from a non-family member. And it's from _Finn_.

"Yeah, it's ice cream. I hope you like strawberry."

"My favorite," she murmurs.

"Good," he smiles to himself as he points to the cake. "Are you gonna make a wish?" He says it as if he doesn't know that _he's_ her wish. She would never waste a wish for a starring role on Broadway or Tony Award. Those are already hers. They have to be. Finn is the only other thing she's ever wanted as badly. She smiles shyly at him before she leans over, squeezing her eyes shut and blowing out the candles. She gets them all in one try. She does have rather impressive lung capacity, after all.

He claps as her one-man party and smiles at her, eyes shining. "Happy birthday, Rachel."

"Thank you," she says as he turns the lights back on. She really has no idea what else to say. This is all too much. He hands her a plate and they sit down at the kitchen table to eat in amicable silence.

"Thanks, Finn. Really. Nobody has ever done something like this for me before."

His brow creases. "It was no sweat," he says. "I got you a present, too."

"A present? You really didn't have to."

"Of course I did, it's your birthday." He rolls his eyes. "And since your Jewish, you don't even get Christmas," he says it like it's this tragic fate that has befallen her. "So, you should get like a double Birthday."

Rachel cringes. She usually doesn't like her birthday very much. She certainly doesn't enjoy the reminder that she's all alone. But looking across the table at her best friend, she thinks that maybe this year will be her turnaround.

She _does_ love presents. And she didn't get a big one from her dads this year because letting her go on this trip was her gift. Her interest is piqued. "What'd you get me?"

Finn pulls a gift bag out from under the table and sets it in front of her, looking nervous. "It's nothing big. Part two of your present will come later," he says ominously.

She rips the obviously recycled tissue paper out of the bag and reaches in, pulling out a map.

"I thought we weren't going to plan our trip at all?"

"There's more," he says, indicating the bag with his chin, "I'll explain."

She reaches in again and pulls out a large package of gold star stickers. She smiles toothily at him, she'd been running low.

"They're your breadcrumbs," he says.

Seeing the confused expression on her face, he adds, "I was thinking when we go to different places on our trip, you can leave a sticker behind. You know, leave your mark. Like, if we go to an awesome restaurant, you can stick one under the table, and stuff like that…" he looks so nervous she just wants to hug him. He points to the map. "And then you can track where you've been on the map with the stars, too."

He takes her speechlessness to be a bad thing.

"You can do it when you're older, too! For whatever trips we go on, or when you're touring with your Broadway theatre. It's just… your gold stars are a metaphor, right? Now you can leave a trail of stardust wherever you go."

She doesn't know what happens, but suddenly her lips are on his. She _shouldn't_ be doing this; she promised herself she would give him time. But his mouth opens under hers and his fingers weave through her hair, tugging her close to him and she feels so warm and when he gently brushes his tongue against hers, she forgets about time and space and reason as she wraps her arms around him and kisses him harder. She wonders if she should be embarrassed by all the sounds she's making as their kisses speed up and his fingertips trace up and down her spine. She feels like the fire will swallow her whole.

They've kissed before, but never like _this_.

They hear a door slam and he wrenches his mouth off hers and stands up abruptly.

"M-mom, is that you?" He asks breathlessly, as Rachel straightens out her dress.

"Yes, it's me," she says, sounding shocked, walking into the kitchen. "I thought you were leaving straight from school?"

"We were just leaving now," he says, looking flustered. Both of them are still panting a little.

Luckily, Mrs. Hudson looks way too preoccupied to notice or ask for a better excuse. "Yes, you should be on your way, rush hour traffic just ended so this is a perfect time to start. And remember what I said about not driving too late." She fixes him with a firm stare before she adds, "I need to go get ready upstairs. You packed your phone and your charger, right sweetheart?"

"Yes mom, you checked like a million times yesterday."

"I know, I know. Be safe. I love you." She kisses his cheek and runs up to her room.

"Rachel, it was nice seeing you," she calls from halfway up the stairs.

"You too, Mrs. Hudson," she yells back, trying to sound composed. Despite her being extremely annoyed at the interruption, she also feels a little relieved. She has no idea where she and Finn stand at the moment. Everything is happening so quickly.

"That was weird," Finn says, looking confused, then he shrugs. When he looks back at Rachel, an awkward silence settles over them.

"I-I'm sorry Finn." She says suddenly, looking at his nose when she says it because she can't look at his soft almond eyes and she definitely can't look at his perfect swollen lips. Lips that are swollen because of _her_ kisses.

"Why?" he asks, his eyes seem to be focused on her lips. He shakes his head, as if to shake a thought away.

He needs time. She repeats it in her head like a mantra, _he needs time he needs time he needs time_.

_And you need it, too_, a little voice adds. _He said he wanted a chance with you. Just take your time._

"I didn't mean to… to jump you like that."

He smiles and she lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding in. "You're a little small for that." She giggles when he nudges her side again.

Now, more than ever, she wants to leave this place where everything is so complicated and _just be_. With Finn. She thinks it's what they both need. Her lips twitch up. "We should definitely get going! The farther we can get from Lima, the better."

He stands up. "Well, I have a destination planned, actually. I'll be needing your map until the trip is over," he says playfully, taking her map from the table.

She looks at him mutinously.

"It's a surprise! You don't want me to spoil your surprise, do you?" he says. Then he laughs, because seriously, who is he talking to? "Well, I don't want to ruin your surprise, so let's get going."

He slips her map into his pocket and heads for the door, turning off lights as he goes. She follows him. "Finn Hudson, you tell me right now!"

"No," he says, donning his coat and handing her her own.

"Yes."

He walks out the door and she follows him, making sure it's locked.

"No. I _promise_ you'll like it." He opens her door.

"I am not getting in the car until you tell me."

He laughs at her, picks her up off the ground, sits her in her seat, and child locks the door. Well, that's not embarrassing.

"Using your size and strength to get your way is in no way admirable," she shouts as he walks around to the driver's side.

"You're right, I'm horrible. Are you ready to go?"

"Actually no, I need to use the ladies' room."

He pulls his crooked smile. "No, you don't"

"UGH! Are you really going to kidnap me _on my birthday_?"

"Rach, I wanna do this for you," he says, and the look he gives her is so earnest that she has to stop. "If you hate it, we can go back to having no plan at all."

She groans. "Fine. You better follow through if I hate it."

"I promise," he grins impishly. "But you _won't_ hate it."

He backs out of his driveway, heading toward their mystery destination. Just as he pulls out, another car parks on the curb.

"Finn, isn't that Kurt's dad's truck? The one he uses for his auto shop?"

"Hmm, yeah, I think it is. He's probably towing my neighbor's car. It's a piece of sh- crud. It's a really cruddy car." She smiles at his slip.

* * *

><p>As they weave through his quaint neighborhood, she turns her head to look out the window, watching how the moon draws just the outline of the trees in the darkness. The snow on the side of the road is all but melted. What remains of it is reflected by the light. Like a trail of stardust leading them where they need to go.<p>

Lima becomes farther and farther behind them as she settles into her seat and watches Finn taps his thumb to the steering wheel, the hands of a drummer.

It all makes Rachel feel oddly peaceful as she hums along to the sound of the radio, to the tires gripping onto the tar, to the beat of her heart, quickening as Finn threads his fingers through hers.

She's ready.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked!<strong>

**The song Finn sings is **_**Your Love is A Lie**_** by Simple Plan and the song Rachel sings is **_**Dear Friend**_** by Stacie Orrico. I always wanted Rachel to sing it to Finn in Season One and I think Lea would sing the crap out of it.**


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